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Get In Touch With Anne Shoshana Deakter
Interview Transcription
Morris: Welcome to Create Grow Profit Coaching Stories. Today, I’m here with Anne Shoshana Deakter. She’s a happiness coach who doesn’t like to reinvent the wheel and she likes to do what’s proven to work. Thank you so much for being here.
Anne: It’s utterly my pleasure. Hi.
Morris: Hi! So first question always is when did you realize that you’re a coach?
Anne: Oh I think from the moment I was born. I think I was always telling everybody what to do. But I’m not one of those people who really knew what they wanted to do.
Like my husband’s a doctor and knew from the moment he was born that he was going to be a healer. It took many years of different reincarnations to come to the conclusion that all my past work experience, life experience, kind of converged to what I am today a coach, a happiness coach.
Morsi: And what kind of coaching do you do today?
Anne: So mostly what I do is I work with women who have done the mum, thing have done the wife thing, have done the career thing and they realize that they’re still completely empty inside. And nothing is fulfilling them and nothing is making them happy.
I had also been at that stage and I guess this is what prompted me to niche down. To work with women in this stage. I do work with men too but typically um I find that women are a little more spiritual. Am I allowed to say that?
Morris: Yeah yeah.
Anne: They’re a little bit more aware. They’re a little bit more spiritual and when they decide to take themselves on, they really take themselves on. So it’s very rewarding. So I find that once we do a few things, we tweak a few things and it’s truly just sharing wisdom that people intuitively already know. They just needed to be put into a system. A how-to system, a product and once they have a how-to system, they have a checklist, they take off. It’s beautiful.
Morris: And your system is based on the kabbalah wisdom, is that correct?
Anne: It’s partly, it’s a lot based on that. I’ve been a student and teacher of the ancient wisdom of kabbalah for over 30 years. I hate, like you said in my intro, I hate reinventing the wheel. There’s nothing I hate more than recreating something that already exists. But it’s interesting like if you go for a patent, one of the things that they do with patents is usually they build on what exists and they just add another piece to it and that’s kind of what I did.
I took a lot of the happiness wisdom, a lot of the happiness teachings and what I did is added the kabbalah piece to it and created a program where I teach people using this ancient universal wisdom that’s been around for thousands of years proven the blueprint and what we do is work together to come to a place of happiness.
Morris: when you were exploring all the different spiritual, let’s call it methodologies, when did you know that this is the one?
Anne: You know it’s interesting, you first again, you know that expression it talks to my soul?
Morris: Yeah.
Anne: So when something you know when something talks to your soul, when it just makes sense when it fits. So Buddhism, humanism, other religions looking into all of it this, this piece just fit like the most beautiful comfortable pair of jeans.
Now, will it fit for everybody? I call it universal wisdom so the principles are pretty much universal and whatever type of person I work with whatever their belief system is, it seems to fit. Once, all which I found pretty fascinating.
Morris: So it’s almost like many of the spiritual ways that we hear about fundamentally they can be traced back to the wisdom of kabbalah.
Anne: I seem to think so and if people do a little bit of research, they’ll see that this wisdom which is approximately 4,000 years old is basically a foundational piece in a lot of spiritual methodologies. Yeah.
Morris: I find that really fascinating and you’re correct. I made the same experience that women are more spiritual than men and I think so in my life, right, I get the, how do I say, like I get this spiritual side from my wife, right? Like she does the learnings and the teachings and I benefit from that. So when you studied kabbalah, do you have an example of you know, how you found universal wisdom in there?
Anne: When you learn truth, you know it’s truth. When it speaks to your soul, when it vibrates, when it resonates, when you try it on and take it for a test drive and then you see results. And this is what I encourage all of my clients to do is try it on for size. If what I’m sharing with you, makes sense go for it. If it doesn’t work for you don’t do it.
Question. Question. We live in a world where we have to question but we also live in a world where we have to do. This is the world of action and in the world of action, you know, you have spiritual disciplines that say sit on the mountaintop and go oh and things are magically going to happen.
That is very contrary to the universal wisdom of kabbalah which shares that we live in a world of action and in this world, we are co-creators with our with source. So we have to take our appropriate action and then source will partner with us and this is one of the major things that I share with all of my clients.
You have to be a co-creator with source. You have to take action. We don’t just sit there and go ohm and wait for things to happen. We don’t wait for our soulmate to magically drop into our lap. We don’t wait for the best friend to magically appear. We don’t wait for the best job to magically appear. We don’t wait for a relationship to heal. We have to take actions and my coaching practice is very much an action-driven system because it matches universal truth. It matches the universal system which is we take action.
Morris: I really love that. Yeah. That when you just said at the beginning that you know try it on for size and try it out no you said try it out and see which results you get I think that is such a powerful mindset and I think that’s where coaching comes in I would say. That’s what coaches do right we help people take action try things and see what results they get I think that’s beautiful.
Anne: Well because we mirror back to them. We’re a form of accountability because we live in a world where everyone is doing their own thing, rewriting their own narratives and no one wants to be told what to do and how to do and yet this is a world of boundaries. it’s a physical world. We are in a world of boundaries, we are in a world of separation, we’re in a world of cause and effect, and one of the things that I have seen countless times over and over again is that happy people take action. Happy people are creators.
So for example I just got on the phone with my mom this morning and she’s in her 80s and she is such an example of a happy person in her 80s. Why? One of her greatest joys is she’s a quilter and she creates these incredible beautiful quilts and this is what gives her the desire and the drive to get up in the morning because she has something to look forward to. Something to create.
This is the number one principle of being a happy person is that happy people are creators. They are doers. They are creators for good obviously not creator because we could create for that too. So she was telling me today about how a person gave her like 50 ties of her father who had just passed and asked her to incorporate these ties into a memorial quilt. So she was busy working on this and she was all excited and I can see the passion. I can hear the passion in her voice and this is the number one principle of happiness is to be a creator.
And so many people say to me I don’t know what my purpose in life is. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what I’m here to create so some people know they’re going to be doctors. Some people know that they’re going to be a lawyer. Some people know they’re going to be a mother. Some people know they’re going to be garbage collector. Whatever it is but to do it with passion and excitement and knowing that whatever you do and even if you don’t know what you’re here to do, you know you’re here to create good and whatever you do.
If you’re a checkout clerk, if you’re a babysitter, do it with love in your heart. Do it with good intentions and when you live that way the Law of Attraction kicks in and you start attracting more good and more opportunities and more and more of everything good and happy.
So it begins with action and even when someone is depressed, the first thing I’ll tell them to do, go move your body. Go out and walk. Walking releases serotonin. Walking makes you happy. Move. Movement. Sitting still being stagnant is the kiss of death. Can I say that? That okay?
Morris: Yeah everything is very more than okay. Thank you for sharing the story of your mom too. That’s yeah that is inspirational. Well, I have two questions, however. The first question is you said you found that happy people take action and you also said that action creates happiness. Like which comes first? When you work with people, which comes first? Do you first get them to take action even if they’re unhappy and then they create happiness or do you help them feel moments of happiness first so that they can create action and build that momentum?
Anne: So the action that people are supposed to take are loving, acts of loving, caring and sharing. Acts of loving, kindness. This is what I tell people to do. I don’t know what I need to do in my life. Do an action of loving, caring and sharing.
What is that? Go, volunteer. Go give to somebody else. This is the action we take. We don’t take the action of going and getting new botox or a facelift or buying a new designer bag. The action we take is loving, caring and sharing.
Go, do something for somebody else. When you speak to an octogenarian, the first thing they’ll tell you is that the secret of their longevity is being in service. Giving back and this is what I say to people.
Look, we live in such a selfish world. Live in such a materialistic world that most of us don’t what go, volunteer, yeah go give back. Go to your local soup kitchen. Go to your local YMCA. Go to your local, there are so many community opportunities to share and be in service.
And when you do that, it shifts your consciousness from taking, pity, victim, me, to a more elevated state that most resembles source what is our creator. Our creator is loving, caring and sharing and why do I say that? Because everything good that we want comes from the upper worlds, comes from the spiritual dimension. It all source for there so if we want all things good and happy, we have to resonate and and vibrate with source.
What is source? Loving, caring sharing and creating that’s first happiness tip right there.
Morris: What if right you mentioned the example of somebody who suffers because they don’t know what they’re here to create, what if somebody has a feeling like a drive or something draws them to do to create but if they start creating that, if they go down that route, it will be it will not be approved by you know, family environment, even partners stuff like that?
Anne: That’s a hard question. It’s too generic because if somebody is going out and creating good, it usually is accepted by mostly everybody so I don’t know what is it like what exactly you’re talking about. But if something that is going like I say to somebody, it’s very simple. Before we act, speak, do ask yourself this one question if what I’m going to think feel and do going to create good or is it going to create bad? Is what I’m going to think feel and do or say going to create good or is it going to create bad? And we’re all pretty smart if we check in for just a second, we know, whether we’re going to get a good or a bad response.
I’m sorry if I’m being very simple with the good and the bad but just for examples. So you just ask yourself that question. I keep like everything.
Morris: I guess the example I was thinking of is you know the classic story of let’s say somebody grows up and their parents want them to be a doctor, right? And then but they feel drawn to open a bakery, right? So but going down that route would mean conflict with parents. Does that example, is that better?
Anne: The question is, why do they want to be a baker? So everything we do it’s really, it all draws back to is being a baker going to create good positive energy in the world or is it going to create bad? So if I’m a baker and while I’m baking you know everything is energy I even see it with myself when I cook for my family, right? When I’m cooking and I’m putting all that yummy energy into the food and when they take a bite it like elevates them, “Oh Mom this is so yummy. Would you oh it’s love!”
If they are putting love into their baked goods and it’s helping people feel good, do it. But if they’re just doing it because they want to generate a profit take as much money from somebody as they can take, then the bakery’s not going to be in business for very long.
Because the seed level of that baking is taking as opposed to giving. If it’s giving love and it’s giving energy and it’s creating good, Bakery is going to thrive. Because people taste that smell but if it’s all about taking and selfishness, people smell that too.
Morris: I like that you made that difference why the bakery, right?
Anne: Everything is about the intention why do you want to do it? I filter every decision I make. I share with my clients this phrase, everything you do if you want to be happy, this is the mantra: I take so I can share. I take so I can share.
What does that mean? I want to go on a vacation. Okay, how do I take so I can share? How do I use the happy mantra? I take it so I can share. I’m taking the vacation because I’m really stressed out and I know I need to rejuvenate. I need to fill myself back up again so that when I come home, I can share my replenished self with my family, my co-workers, my clients, the world, etc.
That’s the happy mantra. I take so I can share but if I’m going on the vacation and I’m taking because I want to get drunk and I want a party and I want margaritas. I’ll never forget we had gone on a cruise and my son was, I don’t know maybe 5 years old at the time and there was somebody sitting beside us and they had collected all of the beer mugs that they had drunk on the cruise. My 5-year-old turned around and took a look at this tower of beer mugs like these plastic cups, right? That stacked, “Oh my God! How much beer did that person drink now if there’s a way to spin yeah I cook in all that beer so I can feel really good so I can share my joy with the world”, maybe that works.
But typically if I take vacation because I just want to be hedonistic and just be all about me, me, me, me, me and then when I go back to my real world, what am I going to share? More hedonism, more selfishness? No. Then, you’re violating the happiness formula.
Morris: That would explain why people fall into holes after something good happened or after they experienced something good, right?
Anne: Whatever we do, we have to share. If we buy a car, we have to share. How? I take the car, I buy the car so if somebody needs a lift to the supermarket, I can share it. If my children need a lift to school, then I can share it. Whatever we take and keep for ourselves and there’s no outlet, it just ends with me, then that is the energy of death and unhappiness. But if there’s a circuitry, if I take so I can share, right? There is the wheel and end all. That’s the formula for happiness, right there I take so I can share so we’ve already shared.
Morris: Actionable tips with us the first one was to take an action that is loving kind, what were the other two?
Anne: Loving, caring and sharing.
Morris: Loving, caring and sharing, that’s the first one. And the second one is take so I can share.
Anne: Everything. Filter your whole world through that and you will see your world explode with joy and happiness. You know even if you go for a walk, you can love, care and share on a walk. You pass someone in the street, “Hi! How are you? Good morning.” That’s an act of sharing.
Someone’s walking and you’re on a walk and someone drops something, you share, pick it up. “Here, you drop this.” Shifting into love, caring and sharing will shift you into happiness and it’s a practice I don’t want to make this seem easy because it’s not because we’re human beings and we have a tendency to be selfish that’s just the way we’re made.
But then we have the opportunity here in this world to be loving caring sharing creators to turn the taking selfish energy into a loving caring sharing energy and that’s our work on this earth.
Morris: When you work with someone and teach them your system, how long does it usually take until they start to see changes in their life or you know tangible differences?
Anne: You know it’s interesting because people come to me really like at rock bottom like they’re done. They’ve tried everything and nothing has worked and they’re really hungry. So when you work with someone who’s really hungry and ready, it’s instantaneous. It’s instantaneous. They’re ready when they’re ready and they know they’re ready. Within a week things just start shifting and I start getting the phone calls like, “Oh you wouldn’t believe uh I just made up with a friend and I just got a job and oh my god I’ve been I’ve been waiting for this this contract to sign and it just signed.”
And it just empower, it affects every aspect of life from relationship to work, to self-confidence. “I just lost three pounds this week, I went walking every day I have more energy.” It’s just it’s just a snowball effect and it’s a few, it’s a tweak but it’s a practice.
We have to train yourself to be loving, caring sharing creators because our default setting is human beings, is to be selfish and taking that’s our default setting. It’s easy.
Morris: Since it’s a practice I assume the practice never ends, right? This is a lifelong practice.
Anne: It’s a lifelong practice and like everything else in life we fall and we pick ourselves back up. We fall and we pick ourselves back up.
Morris: And we probably just get better at it over time.
Anne: We get better at it over time and mercy is written into the universal DNA. So when we show mercy to others, mercy is granted to us. So it’s always to air on the side of loving caring and sharing. If you don’t know what to do, love, care and Share. If you don’t know what to do, love, care and share. That’s all I do, that’s where I stay.
Morris: You make it sound so simple but that’s why it’s powerful because these are simple things to remember it makes it easy to remember and because it’s easy to remember, it’s something to hold on to and take action in the moment when we need it the most as opposed to a you know complicated philosophy where how are you going to apply that when when you’re in a dark moment right?
Anne: Yeah when you’re in a dark moment, when I’m dark I go do something good for somebody. I get out of my pity potty and I go do something good immediately.
Morris: You mentioned that a lot of the people who come to you they have hit rock bottom and they’ve tried “everything”, what are some of the things that you often see people try and it’s just not working for them?
Anne: Drugs, anti-depressants, therapy. Don’t hear me wrong, I have nothing against therapists nothing you know but certain you know whatever the therapist did that in that moment the therapist didn’t work for them. Gurus, online courses yeah you name it.
Morris: Yeah that sums it up probably books too trying it yourself mentality.
Anne: Oh doing everyone thinks they’re going to do it thems and this is where you know I say to people everyone needs a coach. Everyone I have my own coaches. Everyone needs a coach and I always say to the person, “Are you kidding me? You’ve been doing it on your own for all these years and have you had any results or are you like it’s the definition of sanity”.
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. I go if you, had a toothache and and you needed a cavity filled, I go would you do it yourself? No, you’d go to a dentist.
Morris: You’d watch a YouTube tutorial and then try it at home right?
Anne: Right, I’m gonna try and fill my own tooth. No. So enough like enough what are we trying to why are we trying why do we keep beating this? The why do we keep doing this? Why do we keep doing the same thing over and over again? Why and we get nowhere? Have to do something different. You need a coach.
Morris: When you started doing this as a coach professionally, how did you get your first few clients?
Anne: You know it’s really interesting because it came from me changing me first. So people started noticing me living these principles and something’s different about you. “Anne, did you lose weight? Did you change your hair?” I don’t know what’s going on and it was just me being me at this new vibrational place and people started calling me and asking me questions then what should I do about this and what do you think about this? And what I thought to myself are you kidding me? I guess this is my calling. I guess this is what I should be doing because it just came, it just flowed and so then I started really researching how to be a coach.
Now, I’m also a trained leadership educator. I’m a teacher. I’m a trained leadership educator so it was just kind of natural. It was something I had been trained my whole life. To be a teacher so I started, you know, I got really turned on to digital marketing and funnels and all that stuff and this whole wisdom, the ability to share with people online. Covid changed my whole practice because I had never been online. I had always been in person and then I just, you know just started spreading it with world, Facebook, Instagram.
Just started putting the message out there one of the things everyone shared with me was just give your best content away for free. Just give it away give, the content, away and I just I started speaking, giving content away. A lot of word of mouth and just started building and building and then becoming more proficient in digital marketing. Hiring a VA, to do the stuff I didn’t want to do like the minutiae of things, and just really not being worried if there are a trillion other happiness coaches out there because there’s only one me and having and whoever is going to vibrate and need to heal with me, will come to me because that’s already been planned. I don’t have it I’m just the messenger. Whoever needs me, the universe will bring that person to me.
Now remember we started talking about the first thing that was to take action? I do my action I don’t sit there and go, “Oh bring my clients to me”. No, I take my action. I’m on social media, I do what I have to do, I, you still have to do your action.
Morris: But you’re not attached to the outcome like your value doesn’t depend on that yeah that’s really yeah that’s just perfect. You know what you said there at the end with not being worried that there are other happiness coaches, there is a song by Panic at the Disco, I don’t know if you listen to that kind of music but there is one phrase that always stuck with me where he’s saying, “It’s all been done but the world hasn’t seen the best of me” And I remember when I heard it for the first time because he’s an artist, right? He’s like artist number 1 million whatever right and everyone makes music and it’s all been done before but just the world hasn’t seen his way yet and I think that is such a good perspective on you know anything we want to do because especially in business with competition and you know this not the abundance mindset, the fixed mindset you know limited resources all that stuff doesn’t have to be that way.
Anne: I don’t ascribe to that at all. There’s enough to go around.
Morris: And people listening to this who want to reach out to you, where can they find you?
Anne: My email info@anneshoshanadeakter.com is the best way to reach me if you want to learn more about what I do my Facebook page and you’ll have the links to that correct? And yeah that’s that’s how I roll. I keep it pretty simple.
Morris: So you like it when people reach out to you via Facebook or email?
Anne: Yeah.
Morris: I’ll put those links.
Anne: Keep it very very simple, I really feel like we, don’t reinvent the wheel there’s too much. You know make it, I really describe to the kiss principle, Keep it simple st*pid. That’s it yeah.
Morris: Yeah perfect ending. And thank you so much for sharing this wonderful knowledge with me today. Very impressive.
Anne: I hope I brought value to your your world.
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