Today, I’m thrilled to share insights from a conversation that truly hit home for me and, I believe, will resonate with many of you striving for purpose in your work. I sat down with the incredible Deborah Ivanoff, a coach with a unique “wireframe” designed to help business owners and self-employed individuals not only pinpoint their “why” but also achieve remarkable success in their professional and personal lives.
Deborah, based in Portland, Oregon, primarily works with business professionals—salespeople, company leaders, C-suite executives, and those making the leap into entrepreneurship. What unites them is a common desire to take a bigger leap, to elevate their impact.
The Genesis of the “Why”
Deborah’s journey to developing her “why” framework is deeply personal. It stemmed from her own challenging experiences as a single mom navigating a difficult divorce, seeking to direct her own life rather than react to events. She adapted coaching tools to create a tailored approach.
The “why” is not just about moving forward; it’s a crucial guide through the inevitable resistance we face when transitioning to a new reality. Deborah vividly recalled a turning point when her mentor, Darrell Rutherford, first introduced her to the concept of a “big enough why.” This was long before Simon Sinek popularized the idea, and for Deborah, it felt abstract. Yet, she learned its profound truth: a powerful “why” becomes our North Star, a touchstone that fuels us through challenges. Without it, the “power of the wave” won’t carry us through when things get tough.
Unearthing the True Why
When clients first come to Deborah, they often articulate surface-level goals: “I want to double my income,” or “I want a new position.” But Deborah explains that the real “why” is the iceberg beneath the surface, often hidden by old, subconscious drivers like a desire for safety or to avoid confrontation.
Through their work, clients often discover a deeper longing—a desire to:
- Feel good about their life and work
- Make a contribution
- Leave a legacy
- Be an example for their children
- Be someone people look up to
The “why” needs to be deeply personal and meaningful; it must “live and breathe” within us. We often keep things superficial, focused on numbers and labels, but Deborah’s approach delves into the “soul of the why”—a place many clients long to explore but haven’t given themselves permission to reach.
The Solo Journey vs. Partnered Discovery
Can one discover their “why” alone? Deborah offers a nuanced perspective. For those who enjoy self-discovery and digging deep, resources are more abundant than ever, thanks to increased understanding of neuroplasticity and emotional intelligence. However, if you find yourself easily distracted, struggling with focus, or hitting resistance (which is a natural part of the process, as it challenges our current way of being), a partner can be invaluable.
A good coach can provide a “container” for exploration, allowing for resistance and uncertainty. They can creatively adapt their methods, recognizing that people discover their “why” in various ways:
- Speaking it
- Hearing it reflected
- Reading it
- Writing it
- Drawing it
- Meditating on it
- Moving with it and feeling it
The key is that the “why” must truly land for the client—it’s an emotional resonance, not just a completed exercise.
The Power of Knowing Your Why: A Personal Story
Deborah shared a powerful personal anecdote about her own divorce and custody battle. Armed with a clear “why”—the profound importance of gaining custody of her children—she challenged her strategist’s belief that her goals were impossible. Her question: “If I could, what would be the first step?” allowed her to rewrite her story and achieve what seemed unattainable. This exemplifies how a deep “why” provides a position of power, enabling shifts in perspective even in the messiest of times.
Self-sabotage, Deborah suggests, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s often a symptom of resistance, a signal that we’re breaking through or breaking out. Instead of trying to eliminate it, we can listen to it, extract information, and understand what our body, heart, mind, and spirit truly need. It’s not about breakdowns leading to breakthroughs; it’s about using whatever arises—worry, doubt, fear, anger—to fuel the process.
Advice for Emerging Coaches
For coaches looking to build their business and client base, Deborah offers potent wisdom:
- Prioritize Self-Care: This is paramount—physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. If it means taking a job for security, do it. It doesn’t diminish your coaching abilities.
- Experiment: Don’t be afraid to try new approaches in your marketing and client acquisition. The landscape is always evolving.
- Stay Connected with Past Clients: Show genuine care beyond the program. Long-term relationships lead to powerful referrals.
- Overcome Self-Doubt: Many coaches grapple with insecurity or imposter syndrome. Shift your focus from your own fears to being fully present for your client. The most important training is simply being open to what’s happening in the moment.
Ultimately, being connected to your own “why” as a coach provides a groundedness that allows you to hold space for clients as they stumble and explore. You can’t rush them; you can only invite them to discover their own profound purpose.
Deborah’s wisdom serves as a powerful reminder that our “why” is not just a strategic tool—it’s the core of our being, guiding us through the complexities of life and empowering us to make the big leaps we desire.
You can connect with Deborah Ivanoff and learn more about her work by visiting her website at debereivanoff.com. Simply scroll to the bottom of the page for her contact information.
Connect with Deborah Ivanoff:
- Deborah’s Website: https://deborahivanoff.com
- Deborah on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DeborahIvanoffTheBEINGCoach