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Get In Touch With Lisa Pepper-Satkin
Interview Transcription
Morris: Welcome to CreateGrowProfit: Coaching Stories. My name is Morris from creategrowprofit.com and today I’m speaking to Lisa Pepper-Satkin. Lisa is a 30-year licensed therapist and executive coach. Lisa, thank you for being here. Where are you calling in from?
Lisa: I’m happy to be here. I’m in the Bay Area in near San Francisco California.
Morris: Nice. Lisa, you’ve been doing this for 30 years, what got you started in this career path? How did you become the coach that you are today?
Lisa: Well, you know, even more than being a coach, I’m a licensed psychotherapist so that means a whole other layer of experience and training than just coaches typically have. They have 200-hour programs or two-week programs or a weekend program but I come from graduate school and 3,000 hours of practice so I think people should be careful in working with coaches these days because there’s such an abundance of coaches and with the coaches that listen to you and follow you too, how can they get deeper and more meaningful training than simply just coaching.
It’s great. Coaching is great but if you can work with someone like myself, with the amount of experience. It makes a difference because what I do with clients is help them understand historically where they’ve come from like in their family system or trauma or habits or behaviors. Then I help them roll out a strategic plan for how to really work with that issue. So therapy helps you look back and brings you to your current way of thinking and behaving. Coaching takes you and moves you forward but we can’t go forward if we don’t understand where we’ve come from. Does that make sense?
Morris: That makes total sense and I’m glad we started the interview today with that topic because I do sometimes think about the differences between therapy and coaching and that’s the definition I’ve learned as well where therapy, you work through the past, and in coaching, you work towards your future, you’re building a better future and so I’m curious for you, when you work with clients, how do you combine your therapy background with your coaching background?
Lisa: Oh it’s my most favorite thing. I love what I do and you know, I came up with this term therapeutic coaching because it beautifully marries both my work as a licensed psychotherapist and all the work and all the training I have as an executive coach and a leadership coach. The work that I did with Brené Brown and to get certified in her modality of thinking and so it’s this lovely nest that I’ve woven together of experience, strategy, and methodology to help people get out of their own way.
So I’ve been working with a family for a long time and a young woman recently came to me and said I am struggling with my self-image and I notice my behaviors and my thinking are getting really tangled like more eating disordered, thinking and behaviors and so we were able to take my whole methodology that she knows well and has put into place around firing your inner bully which is a tool on my website. It’s a free tool on my website and I help people understand it through free coaching that I do every month.
But we were able to take the inner bully, sadness that has been affecting her and now is impacting her eating and her thinking and we were able to set up a program to help her navigate moving forward to healthier habits and healthier behaviors so I know her well, that’s the historical part, that’s the therapeutic part and then it was with that trust and deep work and that knowing that we can move to a strategy and then check in regularly about what’s working and what’s not working. What do I need to help tweak or who do I need to bring in on my team?
Morris: Would you say that therapy is about understanding ourselves better or maybe even completely?
Lisa: If you have a good therapist and you’re willing to do the work right? Therapy is so good I mean, I’ve been in therapy since I was 10. When I was 10, I knew something was going on in my family that felt off to me and I needed someone to talk to. That was different than the people with who I felt craziness going on with right. I was lucky enough to be able to be in therapy, and my therapist was wonderful. We would eat donuts every week and she would smoke cigarettes that’s when you know you could smoke cigarettes and her dog would bark at 10 to the hour and stand up and my session was done and I would come back to the next week.
It taught me to unload some of the burden that I was carrying by myself. That’s what’s really good about therapy. I was talking with a big wig lawyer client of mine and I mean she is tip-top in her field. She knows more about what is going on in her field of technology than probably anyone in the country right? And she could not understand why she was getting so triggered by her direct reports who were sort of undermining her and I asked her one question, who does it remind you of she’s like oh definitely the way my dad undermines my mom like it just rolled off of her tongue and so now she has an understanding of that connection and now we’re building the strategy that she’s going to implement with her direct reports so that she’s not so triggered because it’s her trigger it’s not really anything they’re doing. They’re simply asking her questions that are triggering old stuff with her own dad.
Morris: You know the name of the show is Coaching Stories and thank you for sharing your therapy stories. I love it when guests can share stories like that, thank you. When you look at the coaching industry and the coaching space, what is some of your advice as you know veteran therapist to new coaches starting their practice?
Lisa: Oh that’s a really great question. Definitely, without fail, take advantage of all the free tools out there. All of the free tools like someone like me, go on my website and there’s a plethora of PDFs. I have free coaching. I am one of the most generous and successful coaches I know which is I say call me, reach out to me, lean in, let me help you. Why? Because people did that for me and it’s just my nature who I am. I’m very good at managing my boundaries and I’m very good at managing my energy and time but if you have a question reach out to me.
Someone said to me the other day, you’re the only coach I know who’s ever given out their cell phone number on a coaching call and said call me. I’m available. So for new coaches, go to all those free webinars, watch what you value in other coaches, and watch and see what irritates you. I recently invested a lot of money in a coach, a lot of money, it’s the worst coaching I’ve ever received. She’s never reached out she’s never asked me how I was doing. I mean I am so mad that I still can’t express how I feel to them. I’m working on my email. I would never treat a client like that.
Another great piece of advice I have is to answer every single email you get whether it looks like the person is serious or not. Ask more questions maybe you’re not right but refer them to a friend in your program. I recently did that and a woman was sitting on a whole bunch of money from a class action lawsuit and she had to spend the money and I got to be the coach that she spent it with and you know the fact that I was a licensed therapist tipped it over because she needed to work with a licensed therapist but be a resource for other coaches too. If you’re not good at career counseling, find a coach that you respect and refer the people who reach out to you. Refer them, build a network of other coaches that you believe in and refer to them and refer to one another and set up a system where you all email each other or text each other and say who do you know that’s really good at this.
Morris: If I may summarize, setting up a network with other coaches that we respect and being available even you know not being afraid of giving out the phone number but as you also said knowing how to set the boundaries, how do you manage to be so approachable and responsive and at the same time having your own healthy boundaries?
Lisa: If you scroll through my Instagram, all last month was about self-care practices like really igniting your self-care practices and I wrote a calendar of a healthy self-care practice every single day. Why? Because I needed it and so I knew it was a month I had just lost my sister 3 months ago and I knew that I was on empty I guide people therapeutically and through coaching when you’re on empty, what are yourself-care practices that help you replenish. So it was a perfect month for me to sort of slow down and replenish.
I have a very good morning routine. My evening routine is a little bit shaky it’s on shaky ground but that’s because I have much a solid morning routine. Anyway, it’s about your self-care practices and your consistency. If you’re inconsistent, show yourself self-compassion and get back on the train the next day. It’s like doesn’t really do you any good to beat yourself up because what’s happened has happened. Get back on the train. Keep your word to yourself. Find an accountability partner that’s so key, accountability is key to your success so find someone who plays accountability at the level that you play. I have not found a lot of people who play as big as I play in the accountability game and so I play with myself. You know I hold myself accountable.
Morris: Lisa I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister.
Lisa: Thank you.
Morris: I feel bad jumping between these two topics.
Lisa: Jump because it’s a blessing that she passed and is no longer suffering nonetheless it’s a loss but we can jump because I’m in a place of feeling relief for her so hopefully that makes it okay for you to talk about you know.
Morris: Absolutely. Before we hit record, you said you have people reach out to you booking sessions because they want to tap into your wisdom and now even just you know the first 15 minutes 14 minutes of this episode, I can already sense your wisdom and this example just demonstrates it once again. I’m so glad you’re here as a guest.
You talked about accountability partners holding ourselves accountability and what made me really curious is you mentioned levels of accountability. Can you explain a little bit what the different levels of accountability are and then what your level of accountability is?
Lisa: There’s nothing like that getting that gold star right? We all want to feel like yay high five someone’s proud of me or I’m proud of myself and so I think you have to find someone who wants to do the back and forth that you want to. I notice that if I’m in a group you know I have women’s groups I’m part of and when I put it out there who wants to have high accountability this month around their self-care practices. People say they do but it’s hard to play big.
Do you know who plays the biggest that I see in life that is a wonderful model for me? Are people who have serious recovery programs. People who are clean and sober and are in recovery because it’s likely they’re going to meetings regularly, they’re talking to their sponsor regularly like that’s high accountability and I like to find those people to play a high accountability game. Right now I’m really trying to step up my exercise and so I’ve asked someone I know who’s in recovery if, will you be my accountability partner around just checking in with me about how I joke. I’m like my new relationship ship with a gym is going. You know because I’m trying to go to the gym more and so I’m getting those texts back and forth. We do that back and forth and I know what their goals are so find someone who plays big and you’ll play bigger.
Morris: So a high level of accountability to me, it sounds like people who don’t let things slide.
Lisa: That’s right.
Morris: And who wants you to not let things slide with them and they do the same thing for you and it and I agree it’s rare to find that.
Lisa: But when you do, hold on big time. Hold on big time because it’s very special and it can slip away very easily. You know people including myself, I can let a goal like this trying to get stronger cardiovascularly away oh my God I can’t tell you how many times I’ve let it go. I don’t know why but now I’m stepping it up again and re-engaging my accountability partner and here we are game on. We don’t have to look at why we sucked in the past. We get to look at where we’re headed going forward.
Morris: Yeah you walk to talk and you show compassion for yourself and you get back on the train as you said.
Lisa: That’s right.
Morris: Do you find that drive to play big or the drive to be held accountable on a high level? Is that seasonal or is it a personality trait where somebody has it all the time?
Lisa: I think there are some tricky words that you’re using. Everyone, all the time, never, always you know those are words that we can then use to ignite our inner bully. You never keep your word well that’s just not true I didn’t keep my word last week to myself but very often I keep my word right? So I think we need to find words that have more flow in them and step into the game.
You want to play really big. In September, I want to play really big in September. I don’t know why probably because I let myself just sort of rest and be in grief and loss in August. Does it mean my grief and loss is gone? No, it just means I needed just to chill out and now I want to step it up. There’s no rhyme or reason to it except that my theme for September is boundaries so my Reels will be about boundaries. My social media will be about boundaries and so I look at keeping my word to myself as the most important boundary. It’s like a big hug at the end of September report into my women’s group. I kept my word to myself you know and it’s inspiring to other people. I love your word seasonal. I think, it is seasons and chapters and phases and sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason to it right?
Morris: Yeah I love that you picked up on the words that I used there and dissected it in that way. I noticed that too in the marketing world where things are presented with you know everyone and never and always but marketing is not never and always.
Lisa: It’s sometimes.
Morris: Yeah talking about marketing and since you’ve mentioned Instagram and I actually discovered you on Facebook. I saw your Facebook reels on boundaries and that’s how I reached out to you.
Lisa: That’s funny because my assistant just hit the toggle to put it on Facebook so I’m so glad we found each other that’s the only reason it happened and I found you I’m thrilled.
Morris: No yeah and then I looked at your Facebook profile and I found all your websites and I found also that you have another project working with children and families but somehow I didn’t see the Instagram, so how important is Instagram and social media to you to your marketing and to your business?
Lisa: So somebody just asked me the other day like she invested all this money in Instagram and her the legality and the blah and I’m like and she said does it really work and I said oh hell no it doesn’t work. I don’t like I don’t see a direct influx of like clients or right like if that’s what you think works, I’m going to say no. What works is the consistency. I show up every single week, trying to spread some wisdom and some love and trying to have humor with myself and when my hair looks like in my reels I talk about my hair I don’t know why because it just makes me laugh and I’m sitting there staring at myself and like oh my hair you know it’s funny.
So what works is my authenticity in my heart and people come up to me all the time and say thank you so much for your reel or thank you so much for what you said, it’s exactly what I needed to hear today. And some of my kid’s friends listen and watch and my kids’ friends that don’t like therapy or don’t want to do any of that, if they’re getting wisdom for my reels I’m going to do them my whole life. Because you never know who you’re going to touch. You never know what you’re going to say that makes a difference.
Morris: What I hear you say is you have a bigger mission for social media beyond. I’m going to post this to get views, and followers and make sales.
Lisa: Oh if I watched those numbers, I would quit because it tells you oh you have seven likes or something. That could be a whole buffet for my inner bully. See? You’re not going to, you didn’t do it like Marie Foria. I mean I have a whole inner bully tracking there that could take off. Nope. I record my reel. I send it to my assistant and she makes it postable. I record once and that’s it. Record from your heart, coach from your heart.
If you coach for an outcome of popularity or wealth, you’ll be a very sad coach. If you coach from making a connection with people and impacting people, then the money comes and the success comes but use coaching as a hobby until it can support you. Have another job that helps you pay the bills then you can coach more freely. You can coach more honestly.
Morris: I really like the last reel too by the way where you said what you just mentioned earlier about your hair you said it’s a bad hair day so I’m recording my dog but I’m speaking and I thought to myself that is that’s genius like nobody could go to ChatGPT and say give me funny video ideas and it you know pops it out, it was just you being authentically you in that moment on that day.
Lisa: Isn’t my dog so cute? I mean her face is so cute that she had to be on there. You’re the best I’m so glad we met because you’re making me feel like oh I’m going to keep going it’s Friday and then next week what am I going to do? I’m going to keep going and how can I be there for your listeners? Maybe I’m just going to put up my cell phone number text me and I’ll help however I can help you know.
Morris: Yeah I sense it from you, you’re on social media to help. I mean I haven’t seen your Instagram. I’ve only seen your Facebook but I’m going to go check out your Instagram after but you have that presence.
Lisa: I’m gonna follow you too so make sure you tell me how I do all that.
Morris: Yeah of course. Lisa, at the beginning you talked about your monthly free coaching and I’ve already downloaded your inner bully worksheet which is great. To anyone listening or watching this please download that. It’s a unique exercise even though I’ve heard a lot and learned a lot about self-sabotage that one really is different and I’ve liked it very much.
So Lisa, how can people start working with you or you know check you out? Where do they go?
Lisa: So I’m obviously online and on social media but a really great way to vacuum out some of my wisdom is really to go to my website and download my free tools. The other thing is I have a women’s group that’s a paid community and it’s so powerful. It’s every Wednesday at noon Pacific time and I see people really transform in that group because I do group coaching but I do make sure every individual in the group gets coaching every single week.
The way my exercises work, I just call on people. I engage people and then I do this free coaching once a month. And you know I was just thinking the other day like oh my god when am I going to do it in September because my cute niece is getting married so I don’t know. But that’s the best part when it’s free, you can cancel it but I don’t like to cancel things I like to be consistent.
People can work with me individually and is it expensive? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes, but you have to really be in a place where I don’t like when coaches say put it on a credit card and then it will pay off. Oh hell no if you can’t afford it now don’t buy it but reach out to me because I have very cost-effective therapist and coach on my team who that maybe able to help you while you’re earning the money so that you can work with me you know but I’m very fair and and unlike that very expensive coach I worked with.
I am in touch with you. I care about your dreams. I care about your investment of time, money and energy. I’m the real deal. I’m not just selling you something and then taking off. That’s another thing coaches, don’t sell something that you can’t fulfill. Don’t take money that shouldn’t be yours and give more than you take.
Morris: Lisa you’re a role model for other coaches and therapists so to download your bully worksheet fire your inner bully worksheet, they go to your website and to check out your free coaching, they go where?
Lisa: Free tool.
Morris: Gotcha.
Lisa: Up on the top, I think they’re tools and then it’s like download free tools and there’s more there’s money mindfulness, there’s leadership, there’s boundaries, there’s all this good stuff.
Morris: Okay so I will link to your website below this episode and people can go to your website, download all the free resources and if you want to start your coaching practice, get all those free resources and it’s going to help you be a better coach as well. Lisa thank you so much for being here today.
Lisa: I’m very willing to help.
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