How to Prioritize Your Life – Valeria Karusinova | Podcast Ep. 046

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Interview Transcription

Morris: Welcome to CreateGrowProfit: Coaching Stories, I’m Morris and today I’m here with Valeria Karusinova and she helps female hustlers step away from the Headless Chicken Run. Valeria, thank you so much for being here today. Where are you calling in from?

Valeria: Hi Morris, thank you very much for having me. I’m calling from Belgium, the country of chocolate, preaches, beer, and waffles. So in case somebody going to travel here, have pants one size bigger because you’re going to need them.

Morris: I love chocolate, beer, and waffles. Well, I’m near you I’m in Switzerland. We also have the chocolate. We also have the beer but we don’t have the waffles and we’re definitely not as popular as you are for the beer just the chocolate. That’s what we have in common.

Valeria, my first question on the show always is how did you become a coach and when did you, for the first time, officially start calling yourself a coach?

Valeria: Oh the journey wasn’t a straightforward one. It’s still a roller coaster drive and every time gives me the goose bombs. So the one thing that I was coaching already during my career time, was during my corporate life. It was in clinical trial research, I was doing and working in that area and responsible for the team so I was already coaching slightly. All my team members, I empower them to work independently, enjoy their work, and be confident and comfy in their areas of expertise and at their work.

So one way after another at a certain point I started to feel like something was missing and also for me, my passion was starting to lack a little bit when I was at work. I can’t do project management. You wake up me during the night, I will do I will give you every step of the way even now but it is something that needs to be given away. Something needs to go away, something needs to come for me to feel more fulfilled and for me to feel comfier for myself in my role.

So at that point, coaching was one of the obvious and not that obvious choices because I still was hesitant. I didn’t know anything about life coaching, a part of like corporate peer coaching so like a little trick but nothing to that extent. When I finished my training and now I’m like “holy guacamole! That was it. I haven’t done half of it because it was completely different”.

And I think to go back also to your second part of the question when I started to call myself a coach, I would say somewhere like count, I’m counting now, so I think somewhere six or eight weeks between six or eight weeks after I finished the first step of my education.

Morris: Your education, your coaching education?

Valeria: Yeah my coaching education.

Morris: So after your career in clinical research you, you started an education as a coach?

Valeria: Yeah I decided to pursue this career and try it completely with a full-time and full attention and so in this case, I switched, I quit my job and started to work towards my coaching education and then obviously I started to realize how much women had on their plate as well.

I’m not denying the man has tons of things as well but it’s still a different perception and so for me there it’s come where it’s Comes The Headless Chicken Runs busting all the beliefs and busting all the expectations that women have when you running around between jobs family distant family friends hobbies, it’s a lot. And the one thing you might have difficulty it, sit down having a minute for yourself and not hiding in the bathroom for that.

Morris: Not hiding in the bathroom for that. Yeah.

Valeria: Yeah.

Morris: How did you define like your coaching nature? How did you know that this was the type of coaching you wanted to do?

Valeria: That actually was a very long road. I knew that I wanted to work with females so for me that was important as well. I’m not saying I never work with males. I also have a men customers as well who just like my personality and they’re like yeah we’re going with you we had it but the one thing I definitely wanted to work with was females because as I explained, we have way too many things on our plates.

But also for me, I started to realize how much the expectations also influence what females are doing how much they run around, and how much they want to put on a plate just because it’s as expected from them, from society, from the entire world and the media population or when they going through the thing they putting all these expectations on themselves.

So that was mainly the final piece, the expectations for, was mainly the final piece that linked it for me in terms of where I’m going from expectations to productivity because the product, our productivity is heavily impacted on what we think we need to do all the time and how busy we need to do because the busier we are, the more productive we are, the better we are. We have a tap on the shoulder well that it’s all comes from expectation and a certain level of stress and pressure that surrounds you.

Morris: You call your clients hustlers right? So what is common you know I’m thinking about people listening to this? What is a common situation that your clients find themselves in when they come to you? When they finally reach out for help?

Valeria: The most common one is that they literally don’t have any room to breathe in their agenda. They so busy with as planning or as over planning and overcommitting because they have families that need their attention they have work that can be very demanding and in the meantime they also have their own family but extended family. I don’t know in-laws, cousins and so on and so on. And at that point, they so overwhelmed and busy trying to fulfill everybody’s else’s needs but they completely disregarding themselves.

Morris: Yeah what are some of the things that you do with your clients like in such a scenario, what would you recommend to someone?

Valeria: It would be, it will sound very counterproductive very counterproductive. But if you do have a lot of things to do, the one thing that you still need to do is add another thing or two.

Morris: Okay.

Valeria: Because the one at a certain point, you have a level of until when you can manage the things and when it stops to be manageable but at the point when things will stop to be manageable, you will look back to everything that you need to do and you will cross out a lot of things because they will start to stop to be a priority. They stop to be very important or they start to stop to be very urgent.

So your filter of what is important and urgent increases very much and you crossing out a lot of things and then you start to reprioritizing and saying like “ah I guess that wasn’t as important as I thought it was”.

Morris: So I guess the key is when you said adding something to the list it means some adding something higher priority to the list did I understand that correctly?

Valeria: It’s not only supposed to be the higher priority but for example, a lot of people come to me and say I don’t have time to for myself one hour to sit on a coaching session and do it I’m like I’m so busy I don’t have anything anymore I cannot find one hour in my agenda and it’s exactly where I’m saying, it’s exactly why you better work with me because first of all, you will find this one hour if you sit down, look at it and you will want to make one hour of your time, you will make it.

You will rearrange things, you will cross out things from your list because now you think you need to do it all but no it’s more like this goes the expectation and the reality that not everything is needed or not everything we should do that it’s so important and urgent that it cannot wait or the most favorite one it doesn’t mean that it needs to be done by you. You have all the things on your list but who said that it need to be done only by you.

Morris: Interesting, so when you say adding that one hour of coaching it almost to me, it almost sounds like you now make the commitment to work on yourself and your productivity It’s like a yeah it’s like an external proof so to speak that you’ve committed.

Valeria: Indeed. You making the commitment but it’s also obviously while we’re working on a different aspects and decluttering your agenda it’s more the second stage of the whole process and there it’s still you’re making a commitment, you’re working on yourself. You focusing one hour weekly, purely on yourself. Hands down nobody else is, I don’t care what’s happening with family or friend unless somebody is in the hospital. We’re focusing on you sort of but then in a other way, it’s also all your commitments and all your to-do list comes also from the expectations as we discussed earlier and for me the first thing while we’re starting to work is rewriting all these expectations knowing where they coming from.

What they doing and how they working and then we’re clearing them up, re-recording this old record that like nagging voice inside your head. You should not do this, you should do that you need, you should not sit down, you need otherwise use this and no it’s like starting to reprogram and re-record all the messages in your head and worked over this and then the next step is a declutter of your agenda where you have even more breathing time.

Morris: So it sounds like you work with your clients in stages. Stage one would be managing expectations and then stage two is dealing with the declutter as you said. Are there more stages in your process?

Valeria: I usually focus like three stages. So the first as we said the expectations, the mindset, the every aspect that goes with that. And then the second stage is declutter your agenda. Declutter your responsibilities so you’re starting to delegate the limit and automate a lot of things and a final one it’s new you, how I want to call it but it’s more the fine-tuning stage where you’re trying everything already, so you’re implementing all the tools you implementing all the knowledge and then we just find in tune for specific situation because life happens.

Nobody stay in a stable completely stable environment everything changes but then you have the tools to adapt and to know okay tomorrow or next week it would be, I don’t know the week is full of meetings it’s hectic time at work. How I can navigate myself or what I need to do today so I can prep for this week but not feeling overwhelmed and go back to this running stage but be more confident and calm during this period.

Morris: So the improved productivity is like the result it almost sounds like it becomes a natural consequence of all the work that you do with people before that.

Valeria: Absolutely it’s like your natural progression.

Morris: Yeah no. I like that I noticed that in a lot of coaching where you figure out the underlying stuff, let’s put it that way and then the tangible result, the objective almost becomes a natural next step becomes effortless in some cases even.

Valeria: Yeah indeed. In so, in certain part, it’s as a effortless oh it’s become your so much your second nature that you is starting to be it’s logical that you doing it this way because like how else would you do it the same like I don’t know. You learn how to tie your shoes how else would you do it you tie your shoes this way and it’s like until the very last day you’re tieing it this way.

Morris: Yeah and the identity shift that happens from not being a headless chicken to being what? More in control?

Valeria: So to be creative and curious of what else is possible and reconnecting with your yourself.

Morris: I love that. Valeria, when you started you mentioned you had your career and then you did the coaching education, then six to eight weeks after that you started officially calling yourself presenting yourself to the world as a coach, how did you get your first few clients? How did you get started?

Valeria: The very first client and she is amazing she is my returning client and I love her to be on the moon and back. We had a conversation we basically had a conversation. She was asking what I’m doing and I was still learning how to be a coach I still was in the middle of my studies but it’s already was far enough that I can say that I’m a coach and she was interested on to know what it is, what I liked about the coaching, how I decided to be a coach and where it’s going.

And from that she became my client. She didn’t became my client straight away but after a few months she called me back and she said like I remember you are a coach, would you work with me? I have this and this and then it’s how it started.

Morris: Amazing and how did you connect with her in the first place? Sas it like through social media or networking events or your social circle?

Valeria: Yeah she’s one of, she is part of the group where I’m part as well so we are not closest friends, it is more in this respect and yeah she got curious we we got talking on one of the evenings and we go from there. We hit it it like that.

Morris: That’s something I hear a lot from established coaches. That they got started simply by having conversations.

Valeria: One of the things all the coaches forget well me sometimes as well, our job is to ask questions basically. It’s not about anything else it just asks people questions how is it going, where it’s going, where what is happening their life? And listen and see where it’s progressing but it’s indeed the very first circle or surrounding would be people around you. Be it a very close friends, be it a little bit wider audience. You go you talk.

Morris: When you ask people questions does it, does that mean you’re indirectly coaching anyone you get in touch with or do you draw a line there?

Valeria: You do need to draw a line because it can be a curious conversation, obviously in terms of you genuinely interested how is it going with a person? What’s bothering them if you see or you send that it’s bothering them and you genuinely want to know but when you going into coaching, the person needs to agree with that.

Whoever you’re talking with, you’re not just starting blinding to coach. You can ask questions where they will start to think about and like oh I haven’t thought about this from this way or it but the proper coaching like relationship person needs to agree with that. You cannot and should not just blindly start to coach left and right people without their consent.

Morris: Yeah, no I’m glad you clarified that because I think many new coaches they struggle with this idea a bit you know with just have conversations and you know help people because it can feel like we’re crossing boundaries uninvited and we actually do if we just start coaching as you said left and right. We actually do cross boundaries right? But I love how you made the distinction to curious conversations.

Valeria: Yeah in the end of the day, it’s the same when you talk to your friends do you constantly switching to the coaching mode? No, you enjoying the conversation you’re curious to know what’s happening in their life how they progressing, if they have an issue, what’s happening. You involve with them in this conversation.

What would be the difference potentially you like the good friends they will start to give you the advice and like have you tried this and this and this. In other cases, it’s the same discussion you just stop there without like. I’m still curious how is it going, you ask, if you the one thing you can ask person to see if you can support them in any way during their difficult times and then if they say yes, you can go into coaching explaining a little bit what it’s going. Some people will say no I’m absolutely fine that you just listen.

Morris: Yeah it’s true. Thinking back to when you started launch your coaching practice, what is some of the advice that you wish you had couple years ago about launching your coaching practice that you know today?

Valeria: The one is first of all, do not follow obsessively to all the advices that you see or here on internet especially from more established coaches the gurus who will teach you how to sell, how to position, how to brand. No, what it will get you it will get into your head that you’re not doing enough where you still trying to figure out and put all the puzzle pieces together.

So this is one at a certain point, sit down and work through what you want and how you envision it. What you want to bring. It doesn’t need to be crystal clear, the branded messages no just for yourself that you have the idea that you feel what you actually want to bring because in certain cases if you don’t, you will put yourself in so many boxes and you follow on so many advice. That you will lose yourself and you will lose your voice in all of that because you will try to fill it in with something else.

Morris: Yeah that is great advice. Did you fall for the trap a bit that you tried too much to follow expert advice that didn’t apply to you?

Valeria: Obviously. I was a new coach as well obviously, and in this case even further years, there will there are a lot of things that you will think okay I need this and this and you will once in a while feeling like fall back on the traps but for me, the one thing obvious was I remember our final days in the coaching school and basically the next day messages was now you need to go out and sell.

So now you ready, you go out and you sell sell sell sell. This completely playing so many tricks on yourself and it’s also the very first messages that you starting to receive on social media when you are now okay I’m a coach I’m starting and bum it’s hitting you like a rock solid wall.

You need to sell. We teach you this, you fallen for this trap because you also want in the end of the day you want to be suc successful. You want to achieve something but here it’s one of the things, you will need a minute and don’t be afraid to take this minute.

Morris: Yeah that is really good advice. And you’re right as soon as somebody you know realizes hey I can start coaching people that’s the loudest message they hear from all directions is sell sell sell sell. What is it that worked for you so far? What is it that you’ve at least you know until now you’ve identified as that’s what’s working for me?

Valeria: The one thing definitely working for me it’s have your friends knowing what you’re doing and you can explain and the other thing is literally not relying purely on the social media but also just talk to people in certain cases. Do things more in person, I don’t know you’re running a podcast here so we’re still talking in person. You find a place where you can present yourself talk about something or do a workshop. Be closer to people and then it would be much easier for everything.

Morris: Basically through curious conversations, there will be opportunities where people ask so what do you do and then you can freely share and some of those people will be intrigued to learn more right?

Valeria: It’s indeed one of our teachers actually said like when they start to talk to people now, people see a huge difference between a normal person, I mean not coach, and then if coach is more settled already with with themself no I’m not talking about that it’s not eager but you come down from I need to sell I need a client but you come down and like you know what, I want to have a conversation with a person.

They usually notice the difference because then you start to listen and you just asking the question curiously asking like how do you feel with all this that going on around your life? How do they turning it to them without giving the advice and that makes a lot of difference.

Morris: Yeah you’re right. It doesn’t feel needy anymore.

Valeria: It doesn’t feel needy but it’s also, it’s a very famous quote from Angela and I forgot the name I think, people will this potentially needs to be added the quote is people will forget how what did you say but people will never forget how you make how you made them feel.

Morris: Yeah. I heard that one that is such a good quote.

Valeria: So it’s Angela and for the life of me the last names skip my brain for now but it’s really true. People always remember how you make them feel because they will come back to this feeling or they will, it’s potentially you said something good as well but they will come back to I actually feel good and could talk to you freely without being judged. For example, they want that. They have all the rest in their life constantly running.

Morris: So Valeria anyone, any hustler feeling stuck in the Headless Chicken Run, where can they reach out to you? Where can they find you?

Valeria: They can find me any day anytime on LinkedIn, just by typing my name so it’s Valeria Karusinova. I don’t know if I need to spell my name but.

Morris: No I’ll put the links below the video.

Valeria: You put the link, so magical. So they can always find me in on LinkedIn. They always can reach out with messages. I love messages there is no sales conversation. There is always pure conversations and on my profile it’s also there is a freebie for them if they want to reclaim a little bit of their time so they always can download it for free and no strings attached.

Morris: What’s the freebie?

Valeria: The freebie so it’s a a free guide that I prepared for the women hustlers how to navigate or reclaim a little bit of time.

Morris: Perfect.

Valeria: Already today for from the busy agenda and it’s with a practical step-by-step guide. How they can apply it and it’s they don’t need more than 15 minutes for that one.

Morris: Perfect so any female Hustlers who want to reclaim some of their time maybe hustle a little less, they can grab that from your website for free. I’ll put that link below as well.

Valeria: Yeah.

Morris: Valeria, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and your coaching stories here today was a pleasure meeting you.

Valeria: Likewise Morris, likewise and next trip needs to be in Switzerland now I want to recheck this swiss chocolate.

Morris: Yeah well if you are here, reach out. We should meet up for some chocolate.

Valeria: Absolutely! We’ll do that. Thank you very much for having me and providing the space for everyone to have their questions, answers or just hear different stories.

Morris: Thank you too. Bye

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