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Interview Transcription
Morris: Welcome to CreateGrowProfit: Coaching Stories. I’m Morris from creategrowprofit.com, and today it’s a special episode because I’m here with two expert guests. I’m here with Jenny Pittz and Haydn Griffith and we’re talking about mindset. What does it take to create a better mindset and a better perspective on our life so we can take the actions that we want to take?
Interestingly, Jenny and Hayden have both been on the podcast before and they’ve heard each other’s statements in some context and this is why we’re following up with the conversation here today. Jenny, thank you so much for being here, how are you today?
Jenny: I’m doing good thanks for having me. I appreciate it.
Morris: And Haydn you too, thank you for coming back and thank you for being here today.
Haydn: Yeah my pleasure, thank you.
Morris: So the topic of mindset is huge. Jenny, what is it that you do in the realm of mindset with your clients?
Jenny: So I help people build and I have a background in business consulting so I help them build their businesses mostly. Some people just need their careers revamped and sometimes life as well. So I’m a spiritual business and life coach. And mindset is critical to everything that we do. It sort of flows from the mindset so we go in and establish identity and beliefs like very early on in our process. So we can make sure that we’re building from health that’s really my background.
Morris: Thank you Jenny, and Haydn, what is it that you do in the realm of mindset with your clients?
Haydn: I have them become aware of the mindset they currently have like what Jenny said it’s causing everything in their life, their feelings, their actions, their results. As soon as they can see it and they’re aware of it, they can own it and they can choose something else so then we create a mindset that matches their future and their vision. Then everything just falls into place.
Morris: Jenny, Haydn, in your work with people who want to improve their mindset, where do people start out this process? Are they already that self-aware or not like how does somebody come to the conclusion I need help with my mindset and actually I need to hire someone to create a better mindset?
Haydn: I don’t think there is a simple answer to that. I think it’s an ongoing process. I discovered my mindset when I was 16 and I saw that it was directing my behaviors and my results at 16 but it took me another 15 years of ongoing work and realizations before it really hit me there you know. So I don’t think there is like that. I don’t think it’s that simple. I think the answer to the question is it varies for everyone.
Morris: What sparked it for you is that you became aware of your mindset at 16, that’s very young.
Haydn: Yeah I think we spoke about it on our last podcast where my my stepmother walked into the bathroom when I was 16 I was in the shower and she was crying tears coming down her face and opened up the DVD case with you syringes and she said to me you’ve always been a good boy and I just thought to myself what if she’s right, what if I’m not this worthless piece of who’ll never be loved. And that just changed the direction of my life saved my life I thought I was going to die end up in jail.
And that was like the first realization. Well, this was all in my head. This isn’t real. I had this totally skewed identity as Jenny was saying totally skewed and that was the beginning. I had no idea there was this world out there of mindset and these books and information and people who’d been through it. I had no idea that at 16 that came later in life.
Jenny: Wow that’s a crazy story. I’ve never heard that story. It wasn’t on this podcast.
Haydn: Oh okay.
Jenny: So you were like hating life in the shower?
Haydn: No, I wasn’t. I was just a you know 16year old having a shower and then my stepmother just walked in which I just thought what the hell are you doing in here you know then all the tears and the DVD case and the you syringes like oh okay.
Jenny: Oh my gosh yeah.
Haydn: You finding out that your son is shooting up drugs.
Jenny: That’s really intense friend.
Haydn: It was and that yeah shook me yeah had me stop and think about myself.
Jenny: Because she cares about you.
Haydn: Oh yeah loves me. She’s my mother. She raised me from three. She told me later on in life. As soon as she saw me, and met me, she decided that’s it, you’re my boy and that was it she raised me as if I was her own.
Jenny: Wow!
Haydn: Yeah very lucky.
Jenny: That’s a blessing. That’s huge. Yeah I think we all have beliefs that are limiting and we all have beliefs that will hinder us and we can even like play it safe and never know that we are living less than what is intended for the fullness of life. So people come in and sometimes they don’t know that they have limiting beliefs they don’t realize that like they don’t believe that they can sell or they don’t believe that selling is a pure process or they don’t believe that they can get on stage and they need to be seen and they view that as egotistical but really when we understand the reality of like every gift, every life is a gift and every person is worthy of being heard and being seen.
That they’re not living in the shame of hiding. It’s actually important to be seen. It’s important that your company is out there and it feels like a lot of risks sometimes for new entrepreneurs or new whatever it is the venture that you’re doing, whatever you’re building, it can feel very scary. So when you remove the elements of fear the mindsets of fear and shame and less than and it’s really what like Haydn said in terms of he gota radical shift because you got real experience with love.
Like it was like I think love is sort of I mean it’s like a fluffy thing in the business arena and like we don’t talk about it but like ultimately it breaks fear and it breaks mindsets that are counterproductive to your fullness of life. So even though I don’t come out swinging with a love bat, I know that when I’m with my clients, my entire goal is to love, death, out of them like love their mindsets out of the trappings that are hindering them from the fullness of life ultimately. So I mean that’s me spiritually giving that response answer for y’all because I’m a spiritual mindset coach but that’s sort of I think what I do as a coach.
Morris: Is that an intuitive thing for you, Jenny, or how do you do that?
Jenny: Yes and yeah well, it’s definitely some of it is giftings because I can like I’m what is it empath like I can feel people. When I’m talking to them, I can feel their nerves and I can feel their mindset sometimes. Then sometimes I’m in very deep in prayer before or a thought will just come to my mind and I’ll tell the client like hey what about this and they’ll be like and you’ll see them like light up from just that question that I thought as I like put my makeup on before. Our fall you know it’s like it doesn’t look super spiritual but it is like maybe the way I’m wired as a coach and it just sort of like unfolds as freedom for somebody for me. I mean how do you approach it, Haydn? How do you like do you catch glimpses of like lies or things that people are believing that?
Haydn: Yeah 100% that’s what I’m listening for these days. Is there congruence in their words and how they’re saying it? Do they believe what they’re saying? Is it a reaction? You can listen to all that stuff.
Jenny: So yeah definitely yeah so maybe it is just listening but I or like I interpret it as feeling it like I’m feeling your vibe. I feel you know but it could just be even catching glimpses of their facial expressions. The minor facial expressions you know that they don’t really believe that they’re going to succeed in this venture. They don’t really know that they have what it takes you know.
Haydn: Yeah I agree with that with the feelings too, definitely.
Morris: Which part of the feelings exactly, Hayden?
Haydn: Which part do I agree with?
Morris: Yeah I didn’t catch the feelings part. I was really hung up on the like listening skills. So are you guys saying you can listen to their feelings, to their emotions as they show up?
Haydn: 100% let’s say to be an effective coach, that’s a requirement. Not is it happening or is it possible? It’s a requirement you must be in touch with your whoever you’re speaking to on an emotional feelings level as well as mental and spiritual and all that stuff definitely. You want to be right in their world. You don’t coach from your own world, you got to get in their world to coach them. So you got to be in tune with everything that’s going on with them. How else do you guide them if you have no idea where they are, mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually or where they want to go in those realms?
Morris: So yeah that’s true. The really tricky thing I find about mindset and mindset coaching is that you both talked about limiting beliefs. It’s like it’s the fundamental limiting belief that either their mindset is okay or mindset isn’t a thing right? That fundamental limiting belief stops somebody from even working on their mindset.
Haydn: Can do yeah.
Jenny: I feel like a lot of the people who are willing to go into the mindset arena are higher-level executives and leaders because they have already gotten to the place of overcoming so many obstacles just to be in leadership roles. So when you’re in leadership roles, you have another group of responsibilities that require a different mindset actually. Require like you’re no longer a manager, you’re like now a leader and I mean I know there’s this, I don’t know why this is coming to mind, but like there’s like different layers of investments. You know like you just make money and then you manage money and then you invest it and like you’re like constantly growing.
So there’s like this path of growth that everybody is on and usually like people that are leaders, I even think it’s almost everybody that does coaching as a leader because you know there’s more and you’re limited so you’re like I need a coach to go to the next place or I need a coach to hit this destination. So yeah I think that’s a thing for sure.
Morris: And in your mindset coaching, how close do you feel you are to therapy?
Haydn: They all overlap. There are things in every practice that work and so in therapy, and psychology coaching, we’re in the realm of altering people’s minds using communication as the tool. They overlap heavily. They have different principles and values that they function out of. What I’ve found with therapy, there’s a lot of them are very much constricted because of all the rules and regulations for one coaching is more open, and therapy is functioning out of this large dogma. That’s very hard to move because it’s so big. You imagine like trying to get Coca-Cola to change directions is going to be difficult because it’s so large, so many rules so many processes and systems whereas coaching is young. It’s a new industry it’s free to move and trial new things and see what actually works. We’re very much future-focused.
In coaching, we deal with the past where needed whereas therapy is very much past-focused. As a coach, we have more freedom to tell people exactly what we think you know. We can be a little more direct and bold and confronting, call people out on their bull, where a therapy because of those rules and restrict, regulations there are so many rest restrictions, they can’t do that. They got you know they can get in so much trouble. Well, I feel as a coach we have freedom. We really do to be ourselves to be unique to trial new things and see what works yeah so yes, yes we overlap and yes we’re different at the same time. There’s a therapeutic experience to coaching though it’s not therapy.
Therapy usually functions out of the mindset that there’s something wrong with you. You need to be fixed whereas coaching functions out of your perfectly okay you’ve got everything you need, and you’re going to perform at a high level you’ve got this, you can do whatever you set your mind to. So they’re just slightly different though functioning in this in a similar realm.
Morris: You know what’s very interesting, Haydn? There are a lot of efforts in the coaching industry to regulate it more.
Haydn: No, please stay away. Stay away.
Morris: And what you’ve just said is I never even considered that but you’re so right. The fact that is so open allows coaches to do more or be more flexible or work outside the box which from a business experience as well is often necessary. If you don’t break out of the box, you don’t create innovation, you don’t create an advantage, right? So that is a very interesting perspective, thanks for sharing that Haydn. What are your thoughts on that Jenny?
Jenny: Well it’s funny because I completely agree with Haydn and I think when I first started coaching it was like what is the difference you know? I had to ask that question because I’m such an empath and I feel for people and was like well I’m going into coaching well coaches of teams. They’re like get it together you know was like well should I like and you know when you know that’s your personality, like my personality is coaching and I did like the strengths finder with a different coach and she’s like you’re a coach and you’re not. And I remember her saying you’re not good at therapy because you don’t want to sit with people in the muck. Like we’re going we’re getting out of the muck and we’re going somewhere get out of the muck.
I like being a coach has been fascinating because like when people have weird mindsets around charging or prices I’m I get I’ve like I don’t yell at people but I definitely like you will not give your services away for free like we are not devaluing our ourselves like you know. So I love that about coaching. What I think is fascinating about the mindset space is that some of the stuff is tied to the past because once you’re into the mindset things, I have a couple different clients that came to mind before coming on this call and I thought how am I going to talk about some of the stuff we deal with them.
Because I couldn’t figure out for a second we didn’t talk about about the past. I’m all about the future like let’s go, let’s go, let’s go but they were struggling with things that happened in their past. I mean, I recently got a text from one of them that wasn’t supposed to go to me and it was about some abuses and I was like oh that’s why we have all these beliefs and that’s why we can’t break free and when I saw her text I was like oh she’s just like this other person. So like I linked the two together and I was like oh okay there has to be a space that’s safe for people to really be vulnerable with you and especially with mindset stuff depending on the person.
I think that I mean I haven’t ever done past work with people but I’ve sort of can see that potentially coming I have some friends that do that which I will work it’s like I’m outsourcing you. I’ll outsource you to some people that work with fast. No, I mean. I don’t know. I don’t know about it because I like even the word therapy I look at therapy as like licking someone’s wounds or petting somebody. I’m not petting you and I don’t even want to lick your wounds but if we’re talking about a memory or a thing that’s like really like blocking you, that is a layer of coaching I have not stepped into but may step into it.
Haydn: Do it. It’s all yeah it’ll open up a future.
Jenny: Yeah so well I’ve been thinking like I would do it but I haven’t had that opportunity yet well maybe I have. I don’t know. I do spiritual stuff you know like I strongly believe in like speaking truth over people so when they believe a lie and like you just like no you’re actually a conqueror. You’re actually a leader. You’re actually somebody who manages your finances well you need the tools but it’s not that you can’t do it you know. So like when you speak over them that can bring life.
Haydn: Yeah that helps yeah for sure.
Morris: Is that like affirmations?
Jenny: Kind of but from somebody else?
Morris: What do you guys think about affirmations and positive thinking? I’ve heard a lot of comments about you know positive thinking where you know some people swear on it and others say it’s like it’s kind of a new age trap. What are your experiences you know within your coaching practice, Hayden and Jenny with this approach with affirmations and positive thinking?
Jenny: Oh 100% I’m all behind it. I’m absolutely behind it and my testimony is like when I got diagnosed with MS at 21, I learned the power of the tongue and confessing the truth and not aligning with woe is me. My life is over now. I mean I would like speak I’m Healed, I’m going to be okay like I’m going to have a full life and then I used vision too actually. I would imagine myself running on the beach. I always would go back to that space of like I’m running on the beach because MS will take you down. It’ll like cripple you and it’ll make you unable to actually function so I’m a huge believer in words of affirmation, words of truth in the face of death basically, life in the face of death you know, and for me MS was like death. So yeah I absolutely I mean I just engaged with somebody and said like it’s almost felt like we graduated to the point of okay we got the beliefs down, we need to start speaking them now. I think there’s like a physical thing, a physiological thing when you speak the truth versus just believing it that happens. Speak to us, Haydn, your turn. What do you think? Do you do it?
Haydn: Do I do it? I manage my thinking nearly every moment of every day toward what I want or the outcome I want or who I want to be or so yeah I’m very much I am of the view that manifests. Manifestation isn’t something to believe in. It’s something that’s happening all the time. Something that we can be responsible for and master which relates to positive thinking. If you’re focused on what you want, that is what you’ll move towards. If you focus on what you don’t want, that is what you’re going to manifest and I’ve seen it in my practice with depressed and anxious people.
Depressed people focus on there’s something wrong with me, there’s something wrong with the world, it’s never going to work and that’s the repetitive thinking and guess what happens to their life and their experience of life? Anxious people focus on what if it goes wrong, what if what I don’t want to happen and they’re so in that thinking. They manifest all the fear and they avoid taking action. They never develop the ability to confront what they’re afraid of so I do agree with you, managing our thoughts. I don’t really like the terms positive and negative thinking. I don’t think they give people enough information to actually take actionable steps on them. So I don’t like those terms. I think when people think positive thinking, they think well I shouldn’t have any negative thoughts and that’s not going to happen.
They think you know I need to remove all negative thoughts and that’s not the case either. So it’s I’d say, it’s more about managing your thinking and focusing on what you want, who you want to be the future, not the past, not what you don’t want, not what’s wrong with you, not that you’re good not good enough or not worthy and with affirmations. What I found is what works extremely well is if you imagine you have a room full of cluttered and you come along with a positive affirmation and you try to jam it in that room that’s already full, it ain’t going to work. So very much addressing all the negative stuff that’s in there and clearing it out first, allow those affirmations to come in with ease and that’s totally missed in the conversation about affirmations.
It’s not about ignoring the negative, it’s about dealing with it powerfully so it’s gone so there’s space for the positivity, for the optimism, for the affirmations to live within you and I don’t that conversation just never had people just go oh you just need to think positive like yeah well if I didn’t think I was this worthless piece of dirt, maybe I would have some positive thought you know.
Jenny: So wow! So how do you do that in your practice like okay?
Haydn: How do I do that?
Jenny: Yeah like and even that could be along the lines of my dad told me that I will never make it to be anybody you know which is absolutely opposite of my life but like you know you have that in your practices and so how do you deal with it? Like I heard and I don’t even know if that’s how they would like bring it to you.
Haydn: Oh yeah comes up. We go we pull up all the nasty stuff. My goal is to get people complete from their past that there’s nothing there about it and then they’re free to be who they really are and design their future. The way I deal with that, there are a few things that specific moment you’re talking about where if they bring that up, what I do is remove them from the perspective of who they were when it happened because often they’re reliving the memory and I get them to go back in their mind as the person they are today. And deal with that whole situation, get them to walk in and look at their younger self-identity.
What that younger self needs, give it to them. See how they are. See what they need. Go through that process until that younger self has everything they need. They’re complete, they’re whole then we let them go. We let them go. Live their life and that completes that part of their past and with it gone, there’s this space for well who are you now, what are the lessons learned and they can really start to see themselves clearly instead of reviewing the world from their past decisions, past mindset that works really well for letting the past girl go I found.
Jenny: That’s so fascinating to me because that’s so spiritual Sans Jesus I mean like that’s what happens in spiritual arenas like with my friends that do spiritual heart healing and healed saved delivered sozotype healings like you go into the past and they always and I kind of dismissed it because I was like first of all, I don’t like going into my past and I don’t need to imagine what love would have said right? I’m I just said Jesus but I’m going to say love right now right?
So what is love, what would love have done in this situation? So it’s always like where’s Jesus, where’s Jesus and like he’s there when in this like horrible scenario well until a time came for one of the these memories for me, I always because I’m very visional, I used to be a painter and stuff until this moment I would go to these people. These mindset coaches and I would bring this memory up all the time. All the time, I would and I don’t even know if I should say this memory but because it’s not like a trauma memory I would bring it up. Because it was like are you going to help me deal with it? Are you going to help me deal with it? Are you going to help me deal with it? Are you going to help me deal with it?
And then there was like this season when I started coaching where that memory kept coming back and I kept thinking if I was going to be a coach, I got to know about the mind. If I’m going to be a coach, I got to know about the heart, I’ve got to know about those things you know this is like the end of last year and then my friend does heart healing and I went to her and I was like oh I’m ready to do your heart healing now and the first thing she said to me was one of the beliefs that I deal with like opening up not even me telling her this. Here’s a belief I have she’s like I heard this before, I did the call because she’s in prayer about our call and I was like oh my gosh I deal with that oh my gosh I can’t get rid of that. This is amazing just calling it out right just identifying the marker that’s holding you back is there’s power and identity you know. The truth sets us free.
Morris: In your case, what held you back was the ability to open up. You weren’t able to open up?
Jenny: That was a self-hatred.
Morris: Okay.
Jenny: Self-loathing. I have dealt with perfectionism and workaholism like those are my vices and those are the vices that many leaders deal with and they’re not shunned in our culture. It’s not a bad thing so you would may be have an addiction to work and nobody realizes that’s actually a negative place to be and that some of the reasons for that addiction are because you have a father or mother wound and you’re trying to gain your affirmation from your work and those are all rooted in self-loathing for me. So I’m in this session with this heart healer and I bring her the memory. I bring her the memory that I’ve brought every single person and at this point, I’m like maybe it’s the right timing and she does what they all do in the Christian church.
Like in the arena where’s Jesus in the memory and I’m like well I’m in the back of the car in this memory so he’s next to me you know and I’m a little like whatever you know Jesus is in the picture and somebody you know you. Like, imagine it yeah it’s like when you know the formula it feels disingenuous ultimately is like I’m going to keep bringing it up and we’ll figure out where Jesus is in this picture.
Haydn: Something that would have hindered you?
Jenny: Would have ended me?
Haydn: No, hindered you. Do you want to know something that would have hindered you?
Jenny: What?
Haydn: You were going in with I know.
Jenny: Right yeah so but I knew that it was like a setup and when she had self-loathing like the first comment she made to me was self-loathing that brings you more into humility you know because now like somebody knows something that is a secret or is a deeper space that she shouldn’t have know. We don’t know each other that well you know or that sin or whatever like that block isn’t obvious.
Morris: So the secret coming out is healing, is that what you’re saying?
Jenny: Yeah so I got healed in that session because Jesus reached out and grabbed my arm like grabbed my hand and then like tears flowed from my eyeballs and I was like oh my gosh and I knew I was being healed of that memory and that memory was not trauma. It was me making a vow. It was me making a vow that I was going to be okay no matter what because there was something that was off in my childhood and it wasn’t okay. But I was like I’m going to be okay no matter what. And it was like I put that was like the moment where I put a stake in the ground that I’m going to do this thing and I’m going to do it like a champion you know and it’s all on me.
Like I am doing it and I feel like our culture and I mean I know that y’all are in another area but like the Western culture is very like pull up your back your bootstraps and make it happen you know. So I’d be interested, Haydn to hear your perspective of self-loathing that you deal with because to me you’re in the spiritual space that’s like a very dark space for any client to feel.
Haydn: Yeah I get. I hated myself up until the start of this year.
Jenny: Up until the start of this year, is that what you said?
Haydn: Yeah start of year. I discovered I hate myself. Was getting in the way of me loving myself. People would say you, how do you love yourself, Hayden? I’d be like oh what are you talking about oh get away from me you, what does that even mean? And then at the start of the year I discovered I hate myself just this thought that ran through my head. I was like oh got it I still hate myself maybe that’s why I have a hard time loving myself. Yeah and then I chose ah you know what I’m not going to listen to that thought anymore and it got pretty easy to love myself and love my life.
Morris: Wow!
Jenny: Amazing!
Haydn: So yeah it totally happens. It’s not that uncommon either.
Morris: Wow! These stories are so powerful. Thank you guys for being so authentic about your journey and I think that’s what makes you such great coaches because you both had tremendous shifts in identity, right? Whether it’s your your teenage years and early young years, Haydn or Jenny, with MS a very serious disease, do you think that’s what woke you up? Do you think without that, you wouldn’t have made or in other sense, does it take something dramatic?
Haydn: The pain, the pain is the source of my power for sure still to this day.
Morris: Do you think everyone needs that? Do you think if like people are too comfortable or they don’t have big pain in their lives, they can’t make that transition?
Haydn: I don’t know, what I have heard and I know Gandhi said this was that he’s never met a strong person with an easy past so I think there is some wisdom in that. We are creatures are conditioning. Life’s easy we’re conditioned for easiness everything’s going to seem challenging and if we’ve been through a whole lot of things, we probably have a broader perspective and things seem much easier. So it’s there’s probably an element of truth that you need to go through things. If you want to have some resilience and strength and perspective, definitely I would agree with that but I don’t know if that’s the only case. That’s all I’m saying.
Morris: My theory on that is that if we have an easy life or comfortable life then yes like we get stuck but my theory is that by not staying in the comfort zone by you know daring things we are bound to fail so. Even if we had a good life, we didn’t you know have trauma or other things that happen to us. We can have a good life but then eventually we start daring, we start doing like chasing big goals and in the process we fail and those failures push us out of our comfort zone and we kind of create our own difficult path which allows us to grow that is my theory on it.
Haydn: Yeah cool I can see that.
Jenny: Yeah life is like so racked with challenges and growth and change and transformation and if we don’t have a healthy perspective of the reality, that life is going to change. Every time it changes it’s like you get hit by something you know. Like my daughter’s 11 like she’s about to be like into the middle school years and I’m like oh okay I’m about to enter into a new arena you know like it’s like these constant things of life that like make you have to change and it’s always pain it’s like change is painful like if we’re creatures of comfort like change is not something that we welcome and we’re like Yay let’s go change you know but it’s necessary and so we have to gain the resiliency in our minds to be able to confront and to address and to embrace the change and not be hindered from that.
Morris: Someone listening to our conversation here, you know they’ve been going after a goal, they’ve been trying to achieve something, it’s just not working out for them, they either fall into old patterns or they can’t figure it out but at the same time, they’re not ready to take money from their savings even just opening up to a mindset coach like you, what are your words of encouragement for someone who is in that situation? They know they need to change something but they’re not ready to open up.
Haydn: Good luck. Good Luck you know if you want to live this life on your own good luck. Humans aren’t individuals. We’re a group. There is no self-discovery on your own. You only do it when you’re with other people. That’s going to be a painful, it’s going to be a painful journey for them. That’s yeah take the leap.
Morris: So you’re saying take the leap, right? That’s what it goes down to.
Jenny: Well it’s humility too. I think that we will lean toward pride and self-sufficiency and pull up our bootstraps like make it happen and when you live that way and you don’t live in a community and you don’t live with mentorship or you don’t live with a coach or you don’t live and humility and know that you there’s actually a level of vulnerability that’s required of us to truly become who we want to be. I think pride and shame kind of go hand in hand actually.So if you’re like I got this thing and I got it by myself like it’s likely that that’s because there’s a wound there and you have created an ecosystem of mistrust and you don’t know that like a coach can actually love you and actually help you and help you get to the place where you need to go. So it’s like the wounding and the healings of people.
The wounds are what make me say I’m a spiritual and life coach because when there are wounds that’s where the breeding ground for dysfunction happens really it’s like negative life, negative action, negative patterns can breed dysfunction but wounds also breed dysfunction because then we don’t come into like proper thinking when like Mom or Dad or brother or whoever it was that’s telling you like you’re worthless, you’re worthless, you’re worthless and you like are allowing that script in your head. I think people have to be healed I really do that’s why I so heavily look at faith incorporated into my mindset coaching is that like you’re not alone and a spiritual level so if we just talked physically.
You physically need a friend, you physically need a family, you physically need support, you maybe need a coach, you maybe need a mentor but like in the spiritual arena like I also think you’re not alone. You are not alone and God actually is for you and there is a God and he loves you oh you’re not a mistake, you’re a masterpiece. Do you know you’re a masterpiece? Oh let me tell you why you’re a masterpiece. Let me tell you that I what I saw when before our session about you and who you really are as a weapon for truth.
So I don’t know like for me it’s the more I delve into I mean, I’m a year in, Haydn you’ve been doing this for like a decade or whatever, but I’m a year into coaching and like foundation is identity foundation is truth and healing. Like people need to be healed even that your shower experience for me is like a moment of healing you know like that was a moment where you realize like you have value and you have people who love you. There’s love, there’s purpose.
Haydn: I realized in that moment I don’t know if I realized people love me or that I had value, what I actually thought at that moment is what if I’m wrong and they’re right, what if I have this potential they tell me I have, what if I am Mom said she used to say over and over you’re a good boy, you’ve always been a good boy but I was I had in my head swirling around, you know I’m such a worthless piece of dirt so I’d reject it in that moment. Maybe the the emotion of it, the intensity of it was such a strange moment it shocked my system. I actually let that possibility in that maybe I’m a good boy and that was it. That was enough.
As soon as I had you know seeded in my mind that was it I could let it go yeah the value and the love came later. The love came when I had a girlfriend and she stayed with me for two and a half years. I thought she was crazy and I was either. I breaking down or she was crying you know snot and I got in that moment, wow you know she loves me. I’m actually lovable.
The value came later when a manager hired me to be his right-handman and I was managing this pub one of the most violent pubs in the state, with 20 employees, seven security guards, 150 patrons fights. I was like well I could you know I can do something. I can be a value in society. That came much later you know that was years later maybe six years later that started to sink in.
Morris: Wow the humility to entertain the idea that others may be right like others who see us who see a better version of ourselves or in that case of you.
Haydn: Yes.
Morris: Interesting or powerful how that was the first shift and then love and then value.
Haydn: Came later yeah.
Morris: Haydn, Jenny I thank you so much for showing up here today. Sharing your stories, being so authentic about your journey. I learned a lot from you guys especially my biggest takeaway is you know healing the wounds as Jenny you said and Hayden as you said getting the clutter out of the room. We can’t just slap some positive thinking makeup on top of the mess, right?
Haydn: No.
Morris: We got to clear the skin first underneath.
Haydn: Dig out the dirt, the gold’s in there. You got to dig out the dirt.
Morris: Yeah very very powerful too and important to learn that from you guys thank you so much. Hayden, which links can I put below this episode for people to reach out to you and start even just you know talking to you?
Haydn: Yeah find me on TikTok. I’ll throw my website up there as well. LinkedIn you’ll find that on my website too. So I’ll put my website, LinkedIn, and TikTok.
Morris: All right so watch Haydn on TikTok please he makes great videos on mindset and elaborates more on this topic and I’ll put your website and your LinkedIn as well if you want to talk to Hayden or have a follow-up question or a comment on all of this write him on LinkedIn. And Jenny what about you?
Jenny: Yeah so I have a pretty solid presence on Facebook and Linkedin and then starting a new business venture for leaders called Dynamus Leadership. I’m giving away a book called From Unfulfilled to Unstoppable so that’s going to be on my website. I’ll probably put a link on my other social media platforms as well but those are all places you can find me.
Morris: Okay, awesome so if you want a copy of Jenny’s book go to our website. I’ll put the link in the episode below as well and if you have a comment a question or just want to talk to Jenny, click the link to her Facebook profile.
Jenny, Haydnn thank you again so much for coming here today.
Haydn: Yeah my pleasure.
Jenny: Well thanks for having us.
Haydn: Yeah thank you
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